Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
