She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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