This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Randomize
