If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
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