dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
