So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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