Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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