Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Randomize