Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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