Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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