Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
