Porn is love you can see.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
