What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
