I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
