Don't make out with my wife yet
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
