looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
