is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
