You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize