Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
