i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I fill condoms, not promises.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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