I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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