So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
