would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
