I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
