Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
