I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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