I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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