do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
drinking out of a sandbucket again
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
