she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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