check it out our google latitudes are spooning
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize