You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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