Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Found the puke drawer
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
