If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
