I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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