Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
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