I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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