Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
