her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
