I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I wish you could order shots online.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
