i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
