Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
