would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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