Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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