Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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