You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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