problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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