Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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