I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
