I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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