I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How does it feel to date your dad?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
