is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
