Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
