He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
