Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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