I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
