There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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