That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
