plz talk dirty to me
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
