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he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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