Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
