So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
one two three fourrrrnication!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
