i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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